Here is more unsolicited advice for college students, this time about writing papers:
1) Spell things correctly. You are in college. There is no excuse for bad spelling at this point in your life. Dictionaries can help. Spell-check can help. Dictionaries are even on-line now, so you don't even need to go to the library to look things up anymore.
2) Use spell-check, but do not rely on it completely. It may still make errors.
3) Punctuate correctly. You are in college.
4) Read over your essay before you turn it in. You cannot simply write from beginning to end and then turn it in. You must go over it again for typos, spelling and grammar errors, and to make sure your argument is strong, coherent, and well-organized. Read over it slowly, several times.
5) Use grammar-check, but do not rely on it completely. It may still make errors.
6) Take your time on your paper. Many errors are made when rushing.
7) Start writing your paper early, and then go through several drafts before turning it in. If you are turning in papers that you are writing the night before and you are still getting good grades, this does not necessarily mean you are writing good papers. Someone is probably grade-inflating your work. At any rate, you do not produce your best work the night before. "I work best under pressure" is high-school-level self-help rubbish.
8) Write complete sentences. This seems unnecessary to point out for college students, yet somehow it sadly is.
9) Make sure every paragraph in your paper relates directly and clearly to the argument(s) set forth in the introduction.
10) Your conclusion should not just be a rehashing of everything you have just stated. It should quickly rehash, then explore the implications of everything you have just said, to make an even deeper and more interesting point.
11) Eschew plot summary. Go heavy on analysis, light on summarizing.
12) You don't have to write your introduction first.
13) Meet with your professor, writing center people, etc. as you work on your paper. Get help and advice from people who can give you good help and advice.
14) Don't use trade jingle language. Don't say things like "fulfill his destiny," "do her best," "be all they can be," "achieve her dreams," or other such things.
15) The reason we want you to write well is because good writing reflects and perpetuates good thinking. Jumbled, foggy writing is a sign of jumbled, foggy thinking. Jumbled, foggy thinking will not help us to solve our serious and complex problems in this society, nor will they help you to deal with the myriad of more personal problems you will face in your lifetime. Don't think, "I know exactly what I want to say here in my head, but I just can't seem to put it on the paper." If it isn't clear on paper, it's because it's not very clear in your head, either.
16) Don't cheat. It's easy to catch, and the consequences are serious.
17) Maintain appropriate scholarly distance when writing about other works. Though the first person may be employed, don't write about personal experiences when you're analyzing literature, for example.
18) You may have any opinion you like, as long as you back it up. Your opinion by itself is not worth very much to anyone- you need to back it up with coherent and relevant arguments.
19) Analytical papers are not creative exercises. If you want to write about why Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely, don't argue that "maybe they used to go out together, but then she broke up with him, and maybe he's still not over it." Unless you can find evidence for such a remarkable claim. Which you can't. So don't pull ideas out of the air- they need textual evidence to be relevant.
20) Do not use colloquial language. No "that's when he let the cat out of the bag", etc. Don't use contractions. I can use them because this is a blog.
21) Speaking and writing are not the same thing. Do not write as though you were speaking to someone. Learn the difference.
22) If you do not understand what you meant when you wrote something, then no one else may be expected to know what you meant, either.
23) Don't mess with the margins, font, etc. We can tell when you are playing with the format to make it look like you wrote more. It doesn't look like that. It looks like you should have written more.
24) To better understand the importance of honing your writing skills, read George Orwell's "Politics and the English Language."
25) Split infinitives are still technically wrong, though this is rapidly changing. Chief Justic John Roberts says he likes them, though, so maybe they are technically also unconstitutional.
26) Learning to write is one of the most important skills you learn in college. It is a skill that you can use in pretty much everything in your life during and after college.
27) Read. It is hard to write well if you don't also read.
28) Your paper should have a title.
29) Your paper should make (an) argument(s). The purpose of your paper should be to persuade others of this argument, to see things your way.
30) Anticipate objections. Bring up legitimate and thoughtful objections to your argument(s), and then do all you can to destroy them.
31) There is no need to begin your paper with broad and sweeping statements that are really obvious, like "Throughout history, man has often been at war." Your first sentence should be specific and invite the reader immediately to the specifities of your topic.
32) You do not need a comma after the word "but." In fact, if you are going to start a sentence with the word "But," think thrice before you write that sentence.
33) Follow directions. A three-page paper should be three pages long, not two pages and change. If it is due on Tuesday at 9:30 in class, do not e-mail it. Do not realize at 9:25 that your printer is out of ink or there is a line at the computer lab or you left it at home or what have you. Inherent in every assignment is the requirement that you follow directions appropriately and bring it to class with you on time.
34) It does not suffice that you got some advice on your paper from your professor during office hours. You actually have to incorporate that advice into your paper. You may want to see your professor more than once about your paper, to make sure you correctly understood the advice and correctly incorporated it into your paper. Replacing one bad thing with another doesn't improve your paper. Simply meeting with a professor does not automatically make your paper any better, either. Don't think because you met with your professor that everything is now alright.
35) Do not meet with your professor about your paper expecting to be told "Good job" and that everything is fine with your paper. The purpose of office hours is not to rubber-stamp things you have written, but to help you to be a good writer.
36) Do not get annoyed when meeting with your professor about a paper takes longer than ten minutes. If anything, be annoyed that you didn't work harder to write a better paper that wouldn't require so much time to fix. Or be annoyed with all of those teachers over the years who told you your writing was great when there was much that you could have done to improve it. Be grateful that you have finally found someone willing to sit down with you and help you to improve.
37) Get help from a writing tutor. Do not think the word "tutor" is only associated with dumb people. All of us can benefit from getting individualized help with our writing. Do not think office hours are only for dumb people.
38) Don't use office hours as a crutch. Present only your best work when you go to get help. Don't ask your professor to fix spelling, grammar, typo, or incoherence problems for you. This is an insult to your professor, an embarrassment to you, and a shame on your momma who raised you.
39) It's called a stapler. Use one. Dog ears are an embarrassment to you, your classmates, your momma who raised you, and dogs and their ears.
40). Curb your enthusiasm. Do not saturate your paper with unnecessary exclamation marks. I am happy that you are excited and happy to be alive. So am I. It is good to be young and alive, I agree. Gaudeamus igitur. But find other ways to express your joie de vivre, ways that do not involve exclamation marks.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Song of the Middle Brow
Sing a song for the Middle Brow,
the Target-tossed.
See them
in their temples;
glitzy nothings buy momentary affection.
Hear them
singing not songs, not sounds,
but jingles,
the catchy tunes that never fail to catch.
See them
thronging at the thrones of screens and windows.
Marvel
at the lights that hide.
the Target-tossed.
See them
in their temples;
glitzy nothings buy momentary affection.
Hear them
singing not songs, not sounds,
but jingles,
the catchy tunes that never fail to catch.
See them
thronging at the thrones of screens and windows.
Marvel
at the lights that hide.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Advice for College Students
Here is my list of unsolicited advice for college students, based on my past few years of teaching.
1. Early to bed, early to rise. It sounds crazy when you're in college, but being asleep by 11 and up by 7 is really good for you.
2. Take advantage of office hours. Don't use them to talk about your personal problems or personal life, but to talk especially about course-related material with your professors. Ask them specific questions about material covered in class, about papers you're writing, about tests you're preparing for. Believe the answers you might get.
3. Use proper e-mail etiquette when communicating with your professors.
4. When you work, work. When you play, play.
5. Learn to shut off the distractions and just work, or just reflect, or just do something that doesn't involve distractions, particularly of the electronic kind.
6. Pay attention to the syllabus.
7. Stop thinking you turned out fine. You haven't turned out yet. You still need to simmer in the oven a bit before you really know how you "turned out."
8. Eschew presentism. The past is at least as interesting as the present. The medieval period is relevant. Antiquity matters. Old is not bad.
9. Read. Read, read, read. Learn to read things that are long, several hundred pages long.
10. Find a way to get off campus and be with people who are not 18-22, in college, etc.
11. Don't start putting your things away when the professor is still talking.
12. Come to class a little early if you can and review your notes, and prepare your mind for what is coming.
13. You are in college to learn. The best learning happens in the classroom, at the library, when you are studying, when you are reading, writing. Important learning also happens in clubs and activities, but that kind of learning is not as important. I know that you think it is, but it really isn't. I know that glitzy college brochures tell you that it is, but it really isn't.
14. Sesame Street was wrong. Learning and having fun are not the same thing. Learning can be fun, but often it is not. It can be, must be, strenuous to be meaningful. Learning is especially not entertainment. The two are nearly antithetical.
15. You are in college to work. You should put in two hours outside of class for every hour spent inside class. Sometimes more, especially if it's in something that's a weak spot for you. This means that a normal fifteen-credit course load will turn into a 45-hour week. This is not unreasonable. It still leaves much time for activities, clubs, part-time work, personal time, social time, etc.
16. Date. It isn't done much anymore, but that doesn't mean that's ok. You will never have as many opportunities to be around people with similar interests and of a similar age again. Get to know many people. Date.
17. Don't drink alcohol until you're 21, and don't get drunk. This probably sounds radical to some people. It is not. Therapists' offices are full of people who are dealing with the effects of alcohol in their lives. Alcohol kills your brain cells, which you are in college to build. What you do under the influence of alcohol, or what you fail to do, may haunt you for a long time. Alcohol can multiply regrets.
18. To write a good paper, you must start working on it well before it is due. You must read it and re-read it and make changes.
19. Dictionaries can be a treasure. Learn to use them correctly. You probably think you know how to use a dictionary, but you probably don't.
20. Have opinions. Don't be afraid to think something and then to express it. Forget what your classmates think. When you read something, you should form an opinion of it. Come to class ready to talk about things you've read and to say what you think about it. Approaching things with indifference can become a really bad habit.
21. You want nothing to do with pornography. You have no idea how much it can destroy those who meddle with it.
22. Vote. Read up on the candidates and issues and vote. You may think you're too busy, but that is ridiculous. Our fourteen-hour-day ancestors were busy, not you. Your future self-- ten, twenty, thirty years down the road-- will be busy, but not your present self. Indifference is a disease, apathy a canker.
23. Television is really dumb. If you have not realized this, then you have missed out on something important during your four college years.
24. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert exhibit bias on their shows. If you have not realized this, then you have missed out on something important during your four college years.
25. Racism and sexism are all around. They are not struggles that have been conquered in the past.
26. Stop referring to your college as the Harvard of the (fill in the blank). Don't try to make your college sound better than it is. It is what it is. You don't need a fancy college bumper sticker on your car to have value. Your worth is great no matter where you go to college.
27. Dress. This may sound radical, but your clothing says a lot about your attitude. Pajamas, sweat pants, jogging shorts and the like say "I don't really care about this class and I lack sufficient respect for my professors, my fellow students, and the overall learning process."
28. Texting and Facebook have their place, but it is a small one.
29. Professors giving bad grades to students "they don't like" is largely a myth. Bad grades usually accompany bad work, not bad blood.
30. Nourish your spiritual life. Go to church, synagogue, etc. Read from the holy books. Figure out what you believe, and live it.
31. All those people who told you around high school graduation, "Don't ever change!" were wrong. You had better change, or else you will spend the rest of your life with the limited capacity of an 18-year-old. And you can't face 50-year-old problems, or even 30-year-old or 25-year-old problems with the limited capacity of an 18-year-old. You are in college to learn things you did not know and to grow and become better, and that is a good thing. 18 is fine when you're 18, but not when you're not.
32. Don't ask your professors questions that can easily be answered by looking at the syllabus. Questions about when office hours take place are among the most offensive in this category.
33. Your professors don't spend from 9-5 in their offices. They may be at the library reading or researching, at home on their computer typing, grading, and creating lesson plans, at conferences or symposia, at lectures around the university. They do many things outside of the classroom that are important factors in making the inside-the-classroom experience better.
34. Go to stuff. You think you don't have time, but that isn't true. Go to lectures, concerts, plays, exhibits, art museums, and so forth. Take an active role in your extracurricular cultural life.
1. Early to bed, early to rise. It sounds crazy when you're in college, but being asleep by 11 and up by 7 is really good for you.
2. Take advantage of office hours. Don't use them to talk about your personal problems or personal life, but to talk especially about course-related material with your professors. Ask them specific questions about material covered in class, about papers you're writing, about tests you're preparing for. Believe the answers you might get.
3. Use proper e-mail etiquette when communicating with your professors.
4. When you work, work. When you play, play.
5. Learn to shut off the distractions and just work, or just reflect, or just do something that doesn't involve distractions, particularly of the electronic kind.
6. Pay attention to the syllabus.
7. Stop thinking you turned out fine. You haven't turned out yet. You still need to simmer in the oven a bit before you really know how you "turned out."
8. Eschew presentism. The past is at least as interesting as the present. The medieval period is relevant. Antiquity matters. Old is not bad.
9. Read. Read, read, read. Learn to read things that are long, several hundred pages long.
10. Find a way to get off campus and be with people who are not 18-22, in college, etc.
11. Don't start putting your things away when the professor is still talking.
12. Come to class a little early if you can and review your notes, and prepare your mind for what is coming.
13. You are in college to learn. The best learning happens in the classroom, at the library, when you are studying, when you are reading, writing. Important learning also happens in clubs and activities, but that kind of learning is not as important. I know that you think it is, but it really isn't. I know that glitzy college brochures tell you that it is, but it really isn't.
14. Sesame Street was wrong. Learning and having fun are not the same thing. Learning can be fun, but often it is not. It can be, must be, strenuous to be meaningful. Learning is especially not entertainment. The two are nearly antithetical.
15. You are in college to work. You should put in two hours outside of class for every hour spent inside class. Sometimes more, especially if it's in something that's a weak spot for you. This means that a normal fifteen-credit course load will turn into a 45-hour week. This is not unreasonable. It still leaves much time for activities, clubs, part-time work, personal time, social time, etc.
16. Date. It isn't done much anymore, but that doesn't mean that's ok. You will never have as many opportunities to be around people with similar interests and of a similar age again. Get to know many people. Date.
17. Don't drink alcohol until you're 21, and don't get drunk. This probably sounds radical to some people. It is not. Therapists' offices are full of people who are dealing with the effects of alcohol in their lives. Alcohol kills your brain cells, which you are in college to build. What you do under the influence of alcohol, or what you fail to do, may haunt you for a long time. Alcohol can multiply regrets.
18. To write a good paper, you must start working on it well before it is due. You must read it and re-read it and make changes.
19. Dictionaries can be a treasure. Learn to use them correctly. You probably think you know how to use a dictionary, but you probably don't.
20. Have opinions. Don't be afraid to think something and then to express it. Forget what your classmates think. When you read something, you should form an opinion of it. Come to class ready to talk about things you've read and to say what you think about it. Approaching things with indifference can become a really bad habit.
21. You want nothing to do with pornography. You have no idea how much it can destroy those who meddle with it.
22. Vote. Read up on the candidates and issues and vote. You may think you're too busy, but that is ridiculous. Our fourteen-hour-day ancestors were busy, not you. Your future self-- ten, twenty, thirty years down the road-- will be busy, but not your present self. Indifference is a disease, apathy a canker.
23. Television is really dumb. If you have not realized this, then you have missed out on something important during your four college years.
24. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert exhibit bias on their shows. If you have not realized this, then you have missed out on something important during your four college years.
25. Racism and sexism are all around. They are not struggles that have been conquered in the past.
26. Stop referring to your college as the Harvard of the (fill in the blank). Don't try to make your college sound better than it is. It is what it is. You don't need a fancy college bumper sticker on your car to have value. Your worth is great no matter where you go to college.
27. Dress. This may sound radical, but your clothing says a lot about your attitude. Pajamas, sweat pants, jogging shorts and the like say "I don't really care about this class and I lack sufficient respect for my professors, my fellow students, and the overall learning process."
28. Texting and Facebook have their place, but it is a small one.
29. Professors giving bad grades to students "they don't like" is largely a myth. Bad grades usually accompany bad work, not bad blood.
30. Nourish your spiritual life. Go to church, synagogue, etc. Read from the holy books. Figure out what you believe, and live it.
31. All those people who told you around high school graduation, "Don't ever change!" were wrong. You had better change, or else you will spend the rest of your life with the limited capacity of an 18-year-old. And you can't face 50-year-old problems, or even 30-year-old or 25-year-old problems with the limited capacity of an 18-year-old. You are in college to learn things you did not know and to grow and become better, and that is a good thing. 18 is fine when you're 18, but not when you're not.
32. Don't ask your professors questions that can easily be answered by looking at the syllabus. Questions about when office hours take place are among the most offensive in this category.
33. Your professors don't spend from 9-5 in their offices. They may be at the library reading or researching, at home on their computer typing, grading, and creating lesson plans, at conferences or symposia, at lectures around the university. They do many things outside of the classroom that are important factors in making the inside-the-classroom experience better.
34. Go to stuff. You think you don't have time, but that isn't true. Go to lectures, concerts, plays, exhibits, art museums, and so forth. Take an active role in your extracurricular cultural life.
Getting Jimmered
I am happy for the hoopla surrounding this year's winner of every college basketball award in the land. What I like about the BYU senior is that while the temptation for him proudly to inflate his sense of self must be great, he remains a humble and likeable kid.
I am surprised by the "Jimmer" jokes circulating on the internet however. They have a Chuck Norris-like feel to them; e.g. "Death just had a near-Jimmer experience"; "HD watches basketball in Jimmer"; "I just saved 15% on my car insurance by switching to Jimmer"; and "When the Jimmer goes swimming, he doesn't get wet-- the water gets Jimmered."
I wonder how he'll do in the NBA. Especially because I really only know the college game and rarely watch the NBA. My amateur guess is that he'll fare much like J.J. Redick: he'll be a solid three-point shooter who can score coming off the bench and quickly put up some points when needed, but that he won't be a superstar.
Note: the Jimmer and J.J. Redick are both white, but that doesn't mean you can't compare white players to black ones, and vice versa. It was interesting to see how many white players the Jimmer got compared to last season, and how much difficulty some people had comparing him to black players.
Some people doubt the Jimmer. They say his defense is bad. They say he doesn't have many assists. He averaged 3-4 assists a game, and often had more. I think that's a good assist record.
The best assist I got from him in class yesterday. I have a student from Glens Falls, Jimmer's hometown. We had just read a story in French in which an Eskimo laments that the old ways are disappearing and are being replaced with strange, new ways. The book says to ask students if they can think of anyone who similarly struggles with straddling the line between "the old ways" and modernity. My student from Glens Falls said Jimmer Fredette is like that. When he was in New Orleans with Team USA basketball people, everyone went out for a night on the town, to go drinking. Not the Jimmer. He stayed in the hotel and read the Bible. He is a Mormon.
That gave me the opportunity (on an assist from the Jimmer!) to say I am a Mormon, too, and that I didn't drink either. I always look for opportunities to let my students know I'm Mormon, so I was happy for this long-distance, 'cross two-time-zones assist from the Jimmer.
That day we all got Jimmered, in the best way.
I am surprised by the "Jimmer" jokes circulating on the internet however. They have a Chuck Norris-like feel to them; e.g. "Death just had a near-Jimmer experience"; "HD watches basketball in Jimmer"; "I just saved 15% on my car insurance by switching to Jimmer"; and "When the Jimmer goes swimming, he doesn't get wet-- the water gets Jimmered."
I wonder how he'll do in the NBA. Especially because I really only know the college game and rarely watch the NBA. My amateur guess is that he'll fare much like J.J. Redick: he'll be a solid three-point shooter who can score coming off the bench and quickly put up some points when needed, but that he won't be a superstar.
Note: the Jimmer and J.J. Redick are both white, but that doesn't mean you can't compare white players to black ones, and vice versa. It was interesting to see how many white players the Jimmer got compared to last season, and how much difficulty some people had comparing him to black players.
Some people doubt the Jimmer. They say his defense is bad. They say he doesn't have many assists. He averaged 3-4 assists a game, and often had more. I think that's a good assist record.
The best assist I got from him in class yesterday. I have a student from Glens Falls, Jimmer's hometown. We had just read a story in French in which an Eskimo laments that the old ways are disappearing and are being replaced with strange, new ways. The book says to ask students if they can think of anyone who similarly struggles with straddling the line between "the old ways" and modernity. My student from Glens Falls said Jimmer Fredette is like that. When he was in New Orleans with Team USA basketball people, everyone went out for a night on the town, to go drinking. Not the Jimmer. He stayed in the hotel and read the Bible. He is a Mormon.
That gave me the opportunity (on an assist from the Jimmer!) to say I am a Mormon, too, and that I didn't drink either. I always look for opportunities to let my students know I'm Mormon, so I was happy for this long-distance, 'cross two-time-zones assist from the Jimmer.
That day we all got Jimmered, in the best way.
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