What A Library Is

A place for coffee and pastries, for pizza nights, dance parties, and flash mobs.

A free DVD rental service, an iTunes listening station, an e-mail portal.

A commons for all kinds of social traffic.

A student union building.

A club where people get together, and a place where they break-up.

A place to study, when all the quiet of your room is making it hard to concentrate.

Where you get your photocopies, and the latest gossip.

Where they hold your hand until you figure out that all roads do not lead to JSTOR.

Where, after first exploring the more reliable resources of the local Barnes and Noble or Borders, you finally go, as a last resort, to get some books.

This I Know

A year and half ago, I sat at dinner during a job interview for a French teaching position in Upstate New York. The main interviewer, a man I came to like and in some ways even to respect in the coming months (I got the job) made a disparaging remark about the Book of Mormon (clearly he was not aware of my religious affiliation). I desperately needed this job (I had a wife, three kids) and so I didn't feel sufficiently empowered at that moment to mention that I was in fact, a Latter-day Saint myself and thus to dispel whatever false notions he may have had about us.

For all of the ensuing year as I worked with this colleague (he was my boss) I always longed for the opportunity to disabuse him of some of his notions. I even prayed for opportunities to bring up my faith so that I could set the record straight. But after one whole year, after a year's worth of discussions, and jokes, and pleasant conversations on all kinds of topics, I got another job in another state and ended up leaving everything I wanted to say about my faith to him unsaid.

There was the time I had my Book of Mormon prominently displayed on my desk, when he came in to talk to me. I noticed his eyes glance down at it several times throughout our conversation. But that didn't count. I should have opened my mouth. I should not have feared. I should have spoken up, even if my voice shook.

That experience still haunts me. It has caused me to think of something Elder Henry B. Eyring, one of the presiding elders and Apostle of my church, once said in General Conference:

"Years ago I worked for a man in California. He hired me; he was kind to me; he seemed to regard me highly. I may have been the only Latter-day Saint he ever knew well. I don’t know all the reasons I found to wait for a better moment to talk with him about the gospel. I just remember my feeling of sorrow when I learned, after he had retired and I lived far away, that he and his wife had been killed in a late-night drive to their home in Carmel, California. He loved his wife. He loved his children. He had loved his parents. He loved his grandchildren, and he will love their children and will want to be with them forever.

Now, I don’t know how the crowds will be handled in the world to come. But I suppose that I will meet him, that he will look into my eyes, and that I will see in them the question: “Hal, you knew. Why didn’t you tell me?”

There are some important things that I know are true. I hope the lines of people coming up to me in heaven, wanting to know why I didn't tell them what I knew when it could have helped them, will be short. And yet I already know that my former boss will be in that line.

So I want to testify now of things I know to be true. These are the kinds of things I would probably be more comfortable discussing in private, in person, but I feel a responsibility to share what I know. I also feel a love for God, and for the Gospel, and for my fellow mortal travelers which motivates me to speak so openly.


I know there is a God. He is our Heavenly Father and he loves all of us, His children, perfectly. I have felt his love and his presence in my life since I was a child, and He continues to be with me and to bless me in my adult life. He hears and answers my prayers; He always has and I do not doubt that He will continue to do so for as long as I live.

I know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is my Savior and Redeemer, my Lord and my God. Through his great atoning sacrifice, and through obedience to the laws and ordinances of His Gospel, all mankind can return to live with Him and with our Heavenly Father forever, which is eternal life. It is through Christ that we can be forgiven from sin, that we can feel the burden of sin lifted and become whole again. It is through the majestic and incomprehensible power of his love and his atonement that we can overcome not only sin, but burdens and afflictions of all kinds. This is something I have learned from reading Isaiah 53, and from reading Alma 7 in the Book of Mormon.

"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflications and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to he flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." (Alma 7:11-12)

I have felt the healing power of the atonement of Christ in my life, sometimes in very powerful ways. It is true, as Alma says, that the Lord knows how to "succor" his people. "Succor" comes from a medieval French word which means "to run to." I have felt my Savior run to me many times in my life. This is how I know that Christ lives and that he is my personal Savior. My relationship with Him is personal. I am proud to belong to the church that bears his name, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. Some of my Christian friends think this diminishes the importance of the Bible in my life. It does not; in fact, for me, it only enhances the miracle and power of the Bible in my life. I know that the Bible is the word of God. I read both books and draw tremendous strength from doing so. Not only is my life as a father, a husband, a professional, and everything else that I am strengthened when I strive to live by the principles of these two God-given books of sacred scripture, but I can feel God's love and the presence of the Holy Spirit when I read these books. This is why I read from them daily, both alone and with my family. I am grateful for parents and for a faith that have taught me the importance of nourishing myself daily by reading from the good Word of God.

I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. He translated the Book of Mormon from ancient records, by the power of God. I know this for myself because I have read its pages and pondered its message. I have prayed to know for myself if it is true, and God has answered my prayers many times over. Joseph Smith was the instrument whereby Christ restored his church and gospel to the earth in their fulness.

There is a prophet on the earth today, and Twelve Apostles, just as existed in Christ's church during his mortal ministry. You can learn all about it at www.mormon.org.

I know that families can be together forever. The family unit is eternal. Through sacred ordinances performed in God's temples, families can be united for eternity. The bonds of affection that exist between husband and wife, between parent and child, are sacred and holy and are intended to endure forever. Heaven would not be heaven without my wife by my side, nor without my children, parents, and other family members. The family is ordained of God.

There are many other things I might say, but these seem to me the most important.

I bear my personal witness that these things are true.

The Bourgeois Gentilhomme and Today's Would-Be Students

I shuddered as I recently saw the new student dorms being built in places like the University of North Texas and North Carolina State University.

(see them here: http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/22/living/dorm-rooms/index.html)

I say shudder, though I didn't actually physically tremble so much as I seethed with moral indignation and outrage, two emotions well-internalized after years of higher education training therein. You see, as you get more and more education, the more you are supposed to shudder and feel outrage as beings lesser than yourself make decisions that you in your infiniter wisdom would never have made. But that is a topic for consideration another time, and a matter of private repentance for me to consider, well, in private.

I am still legitimately troubled, though, by this latest attempt to draw "students" to these desperately pandering universities. Adolescents they may draw, but true students probably not. Universities are now becoming, in the wise words of Mark Edmundsen, "retirement spread[s] for the young," with all of the country-club amenities that a young person who has never worked for them could want.

And why shouldn't universities provide these things? Thanks to decades of thorough corporatization, the American University (Inc.) after all has now long been in the business of providing customer satisfaction for its many eager clients. Who cares about the integrity of the product? It's what the focus groups say the students want, so let's give it to them, and at ever-increasing prices. If they want Economics Lite, or Diet Physics, or watered-down history and literature offerings, then let us give it to them. With the vast student loan and Pell Grant programs, we'll even have American taxpayers (and two-thirds of Americans never graduate from college, so think of who exactly is paying for much of this) underwrite the cost for all those climbing walls, those tanning salons, those flat screen tv's, those luxuriating campus dining halls. We may have to cut professors' salaries and increase tuition rates so that all but a few may attend this great carnaval of learning we have created, this confused circus of curricula we have constructed, but, hey, the customers are happy, so let's keep forging ahead. Bring on the monster stadium, multiply the army of invading bureaucrats, throw endless money into the pit of losing sports teams. That is what the customers want, and we will give it to them.

And since shopping is what they like, let's have them "shop" for courses, too. (Note: some students actually use the term "shopping for classes" and Princeton even has an offical "shopping period" when students can do said "shopping"-- this is language that speaks volumes). The courses that don't do well in this free-market forum, well, we'll just have to mold them according to the focus groups, or else get rid of them altogether. Little matter if students actually need some of these courses as an integral part of their education-- the product must suit the consumer, and what the consumer wants unfortunately often has little to do with education.

So what does the consumer want? I recently attended a roundtable for faculty members, where six students described what they liked about attending the university. They were explicitly told not to mention "it will help me to get a job," which made me very interested in what else they might have to say. Half of them basically still said that college would help them get a job, and the other half basically said that they liked having four years of a transition period before adulthood. No mention of education, broadening horizons, developing critical thinking skills, learning. Many (most?) do not come to college for those kinds of things. They come for the rite of passage, for entrance to the middle class, to enter softly into adulthood, to get a better-paying job.

But why?

Because we are a bourgeois nation, and that is what bourgeois nations do. I have been recently re-reading with my students one of my favorite plays, Moliere's "Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme" i.e. "The Bourgeois Gentleman" or the middle-class gentleman, an ironic, nonsensical title inasmuch as gentlemen are noble and therefore not bourgeois, or middle class. Most English translations render it "The Would-Be Gentleman." The story concerns a well-to-do merchant whose money, he hopes, will allow him to purchase a new social status for himself. He is the stereotypical buffoon of "new money," the arriviste and social climber who hopes that his money will somehow magically buy him the taste, attitudes, and experiences that will give him easy access to the upper class or nobility. He is, of course, mercilessly ridiculed throughout the play, inasmuch as Moliere recognized that there are some things that money just can't buy. The bourgeois, you see, knows the price of everything and the value of nothing because to him, the value is the price (channeling Nibley here). To have and to be are near-synonymous to those whose petty possessions are life itself.

Most of our college classrooms are veritably overflowing with the bourgeois spirit. Monsieur Jourdain, Moliere's protagonist in the play, hires tutors to teach him, but he does not want to learn what they have to teach. He wants to be taught only what interests him, and unfortunately only elementary spelling and superficial writing skills interest him. He does not want his tutors to question the existing structures he has created for himself, to introduce him to new structures or ways of looking at the world. His interest in learning is not even for the joy of learning itself, or for the opportunity to learn new things, or to learn old things in a new way, or to enrich his mind and thus his experience with the world. He simply wants wants to be seen as learned, to wear all the superficial trappings of educated finery without too much of the substance of it. He wants status. He wants position. He wants to seem and appear rather than to be.

Our corporate university model, which gives the student only what s/he wants, operates much in the same way. Like Jourdain, undergraduates pay exorbitant amounts of money to be taught what they want to be taught, not what they ought to be taught. And thanks to the customer satisfaction surveys/student evaluations to which faculty members are beholden, professors with any hope of tenure, renewal, or even a workable classroom atmosphere take note of what the students want and say they need. Like Jourdain, so many of our students want a college degree because it is seen as some kind of entrance ticket to the middle class, to a social status, and not primarily because of how their education can help to enrich their world view. Students and their parents, as we have seen, are often more than eager to pay enormous amounts of money for this kind of social status.

Only when America ceases to be a bourgeois nation, only when we willingly leave off the status-driven life, can the situation change. Learning must be pursued for reasons more eternally significant and ultimately transcendent than mere mortal, myopic, petty social ambition.

Why Foreign Languages Matter

On the superficial level, the matter is quite simple. Foreign languages allow us to communicate with other people. This has significant impact on trade, diplomacy, war, humanitarianism, technology, and a host of other areas.

And that, really, should be enough.

But there is a deeper level still. When we learn a foreign language (or if we really want to be radical and subversive, several foreign languages) we open up our minds to new experiences, new conceptions, and new vistas of understanding. Learning a foreign language is not merely a matter of learning what sounds to make and in what order to make them so that we can say exactly what we would say in our own tongue. No: when we learn to speak a foreign language, we actually learn to say new things, things that could not even be conceived of through the prism/prison of our native tongue, things that widen our perspective and expand our horizons.

I will illustrate with a simple example. I have known French people who find it funny that we say sometimes that it is "raining cats and dogs," and admittedly, it is a somewhat amusing image, unless you are a person for the ethical treatment of animals, in which case it is horrifying. The French equivalent is "it is raining cords." I distinctly remember a rainy day in New Jersey when I looked out the neo-gothic windows and suddenly, to my astonishment, actually SAW cords of rain pouring down upon the verdant lawn below. It was through language, through specific French words and images unknown and inaccessible to me before, that I was suddenly able to see something that had always been there, but that I had lacked the linguistic-- and hence mental-- capacity or imagination to discern, plain though it was.

Of course, whether you see cords or various domestic animals coming down out of the sky is hardly the point, and I can't say my life is much richer for having seen "cords" of water descending from the heavens. The point is that new vocabularies and grammars give us access to realities never before envisioned. This is why we must not be the prisoners of one language only, for we would thus be limited in the scope and breadth of our imaginations as well as in our capacity to encounter and navigate the new. At the heart of a meaningful education lies the ability to engage with newness, to navigate ably new experiences. Our world is constantly changing and the ability to adapt our minds and ourselves to novel situations and conditions is vital. When we learn foreign languages, we realize that we can no longer simply place our new experiences in ready-made, preconceived mental categories by which we organize the world; we learn that we must create new boxes into which to fit the inevitable newness of the experiential worlds we are constantly discovering, and that some boxes must be significantly altered or even done away with altogether if we are to negotiate newness with any clarity or discernment. This is how learning foreign languages gives us a second chance at life; it tells us that there is a different way, that not everything must be as we have always assumed or taken for granted. It opens us up to new ways of thinking, challenging the very structures underlying our thoughts and our understanding of the world. It dares us to reconsider our organizing principles and even calls us to repentance, reminding us that other, newly discovered worlds of thought are lurking out there, and that sometimes the old thought patterns and world conceptions simply will not do, or at least that these could stand some enrichment.

So yes, while our performance on the cocktail circuit may seem enhanced by occasional references to foreign speech, while our friends may marvel at the linguistic variety of our bookshelves, and while women may swoon at the sound of the exotic idiom, these are mere distractions from the main or central purpose of foreign language study.

Foreign languages, with the possibility for new and varied experience that they bring, are, in fact, at the very heart of what it means to be human.

Mitt Romney and Me

People tend to vote for people like themselves, and in a representative democracy, I suppose that's ok, since we are supposed to elect people who represent us. And while Mitt Romney and I actually have very little in common, I believe that there will never again in my lifetime be a presidential candidate with whom I have more in common than the Mittster.

Sure, I am not a millionaire, and I have neither the hair nor the handsomeness that he has. I have not his Cadillacs nor his Mustang (I never will, if not by force, then at least by choice). I have not his apparent health, nor the lakeside mansion in New Hampshire, nor the beachfront property in California. I have not his business acumen, nor do I share his view that (cringe) corporations are people. I have not his penchant for building fences to keep Mexicans out. I do not blame faculty lounges for the ills of America (there aren't any... lounges, that is). My father was not a cabinet member, governor, or self-made millionaire. I did not go to Harvard and share a class with George W. Bush. The ambassador to France was not a family friend when I was growing up, and Richard Nixon did not come to my ring ceremony. My wife does not ride horses, and her father was not the mayor. I do not care for cars. I was never an AP, and I never had a near-death experience resulting from a drunken priest's reckless driving.

And yet...

like Mitt...

I, too, met my wife when I was 18 and she was just shy of 16 (the odds! the coincidence!). I, too, am a lifelong Mormon, with a convert AND French-major wife (quelle coincidence!) and come from a family of four children. I, too, have a parent who was born outside the United States. I, too, was a missionary in France, and came home and got some Ivy League degrees. I, too, am a Republican with some left-leaning flavor. I, too, have sung my whole life and like to sing. I, too, have a wife who makes granola the staple of our breakfasts. When you consider the statistical (un)likelihood of finding all of these uncanny compatibilities between a major presidential candidate and yourself, how can you not consider seriously voting for such a person? I mean, this is exactly the guy I would want to represent me in the White House, the person I would most like to share a (root) beer with, right?

Too bad I like Huntsman better.

A Beloit College List For Latter-day Saint Missionaries

The annual Beloit College Freshman Attitudes list just came out again last week. This is the list of attributes that incoming college freshmen supposedly share, and we as faculty are supposed to read the list and marvel at how different the attitudes of typical college freshmen are from our own. Usually, the list is at least moderately successful in accomplishing said goal of astonishing college professors, and the older the professor, the more astonishment there is to go around.

This got me thinking: we ought to have a similar list for Mormon missionaries. Technology and remarkable changes in both the church and the world at large have led to remarkable changes in the attitudes of young missionaries who enter the MTC this fall. Most of these changes are reflective of the miraculous growth that the church has seen all across the world in recent years.

What first got me thinking along these lines was a missionary who asked me, while I was on an exchange, whether my father spoke Russian because he served his mission there. What was astonishing to me about his remark has nothing to do with ignorance of recent church history or world events, but rather how important it is to describe to the rising generations the miraculous opening of the nations to the preaching of the restored gospel. Prophecies have been fulfilled in a remarkable way over my lifetime, and the miraculous nature of these needs to be emphasized.

So here is my list, in no particular order:

1) Missionaries have been sending e-mails home for as long as they can remember

2) Church membership has been in the double-digit millions for as long as they can remember, and maybe if they think hard, they can faintly remember a time when native English-speakers actually outnumbered non-English speakers in church membership.

3) Missionaries have always been sent forth to preach the Gospel to the nations of Eastern Europe.

4) Iron what?

5) A temple in Kiev does not seem any more remarkable than a temple in Stockholm, which definitely does not seem all that remarkable.

6) They cannot remember a time when the church did not have a web page.

7) There has always been an MTC, and it has always taught languages in the scores.

8) Missionaries with mandatory bike helmets and cell phones do not seem unusual.

9) mormon.org is a website that, under mission rules, they must spend some time on every week.

10) Of course there are thousands of members of the church in Mongolia; why wouldn't there be?

11) What are Targeteers?

12) Give said the who?

13) Sundays have always meant one single trip to church.

14) A Mormon Senate Majority Leader is not unusual.

15) Two Mormon presidential candidates is not unusual.

16) What's a flannel board?

17) They have always been as the armies of Helaman.

18) Of course missionaries can text people.

19) Smaller temples have existed ever since they can remember.

20) General Conference from the Tabernacle is a faint memory, eclipsed by many more memories of the Conference Center.

There are probably many more that could be added to this list (I think the Beloit list always has a 75 attributes). What are yours?

How to Write A College Paper

Here is more unsolicited advice for college students, this time about writing papers:

1) Spell things correctly. You are in college. There is no excuse for bad spelling at this point in your life. Dictionaries can help. Spell-check can help. Dictionaries are even on-line now, so you don't even need to go to the library to look things up anymore.

2) Use spell-check, but do not rely on it completely. It may still make errors.

3) Punctuate correctly. You are in college.

4) Read over your essay before you turn it in. You cannot simply write from beginning to end and then turn it in. You must go over it again for typos, spelling and grammar errors, and to make sure your argument is strong, coherent, and well-organized. Read over it slowly, several times.

5) Use grammar-check, but do not rely on it completely. It may still make errors.

6) Take your time on your paper. Many errors are made when rushing.

7) Start writing your paper early, and then go through several drafts before turning it in. If you are turning in papers that you are writing the night before and you are still getting good grades, this does not necessarily mean you are writing good papers. Someone is probably grade-inflating your work. At any rate, you do not produce your best work the night before. "I work best under pressure" is high-school-level self-help rubbish.

8) Write complete sentences. This seems unnecessary to point out for college students, yet somehow it sadly is.

9) Make sure every paragraph in your paper relates directly and clearly to the argument(s) set forth in the introduction.

10) Your conclusion should not just be a rehashing of everything you have just stated. It should quickly rehash, then explore the implications of everything you have just said, to make an even deeper and more interesting point.

11) Eschew plot summary. Go heavy on analysis, light on summarizing.

12) You don't have to write your introduction first.

13) Meet with your professor, writing center people, etc. as you work on your paper. Get help and advice from people who can give you good help and advice.

14) Don't use trade jingle language. Don't say things like "fulfill his destiny," "do her best," "be all they can be," "achieve her dreams," or other such things.

15) The reason we want you to write well is because good writing reflects and perpetuates good thinking. Jumbled, foggy writing is a sign of jumbled, foggy thinking. Jumbled, foggy thinking will not help us to solve our serious and complex problems in this society, nor will they help you to deal with the myriad of more personal problems you will face in your lifetime. Don't think, "I know exactly what I want to say here in my head, but I just can't seem to put it on the paper." If it isn't clear on paper, it's because it's not very clear in your head, either.

16) Don't cheat. It's easy to catch, and the consequences are serious.

17) Maintain appropriate scholarly distance when writing about other works. Though the first person may be employed, don't write about personal experiences when you're analyzing literature, for example.

18) You may have any opinion you like, as long as you back it up. Your opinion by itself is not worth very much to anyone- you need to back it up with coherent and relevant arguments.

19) Analytical papers are not creative exercises. If you want to write about why Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely, don't argue that "maybe they used to go out together, but then she broke up with him, and maybe he's still not over it." Unless you can find evidence for such a remarkable claim. Which you can't. So don't pull ideas out of the air- they need textual evidence to be relevant.

20) Do not use colloquial language. No "that's when he let the cat out of the bag", etc. Don't use contractions. I can use them because this is a blog.

21) Speaking and writing are not the same thing. Do not write as though you were speaking to someone. Learn the difference.

22) If you do not understand what you meant when you wrote something, then no one else may be expected to know what you meant, either.

23) Don't mess with the margins, font, etc. We can tell when you are playing with the format to make it look like you wrote more. It doesn't look like that. It looks like you should have written more.

24) To better understand the importance of honing your writing skills, read George Orwell's "Politics and the English Language."

25) Split infinitives are still technically wrong, though this is rapidly changing. Chief Justic John Roberts says he likes them, though, so maybe they are technically also unconstitutional.

26) Learning to write is one of the most important skills you learn in college. It is a skill that you can use in pretty much everything in your life during and after college.

27) Read. It is hard to write well if you don't also read.

28) Your paper should have a title.

29) Your paper should make (an) argument(s). The purpose of your paper should be to persuade others of this argument, to see things your way.

30) Anticipate objections. Bring up legitimate and thoughtful objections to your argument(s), and then do all you can to destroy them.

31) There is no need to begin your paper with broad and sweeping statements that are really obvious, like "Throughout history, man has often been at war." Your first sentence should be specific and invite the reader immediately to the specifities of your topic.

32) You do not need a comma after the word "but." In fact, if you are going to start a sentence with the word "But," think thrice before you write that sentence.

33) Follow directions. A three-page paper should be three pages long, not two pages and change. If it is due on Tuesday at 9:30 in class, do not e-mail it. Do not realize at 9:25 that your printer is out of ink or there is a line at the computer lab or you left it at home or what have you. Inherent in every assignment is the requirement that you follow directions appropriately and bring it to class with you on time.

34) It does not suffice that you got some advice on your paper from your professor during office hours. You actually have to incorporate that advice into your paper. You may want to see your professor more than once about your paper, to make sure you correctly understood the advice and correctly incorporated it into your paper. Replacing one bad thing with another doesn't improve your paper. Simply meeting with a professor does not automatically make your paper any better, either. Don't think because you met with your professor that everything is now alright.

35) Do not meet with your professor about your paper expecting to be told "Good job" and that everything is fine with your paper. The purpose of office hours is not to rubber-stamp things you have written, but to help you to be a good writer.

36) Do not get annoyed when meeting with your professor about a paper takes longer than ten minutes. If anything, be annoyed that you didn't work harder to write a better paper that wouldn't require so much time to fix. Or be annoyed with all of those teachers over the years who told you your writing was great when there was much that you could have done to improve it. Be grateful that you have finally found someone willing to sit down with you and help you to improve.

37) Get help from a writing tutor. Do not think the word "tutor" is only associated with dumb people. All of us can benefit from getting individualized help with our writing. Do not think office hours are only for dumb people.

38) Don't use office hours as a crutch. Present only your best work when you go to get help. Don't ask your professor to fix spelling, grammar, typo, or incoherence problems for you. This is an insult to your professor, an embarrassment to you, and a shame on your momma who raised you.

39) It's called a stapler. Use one. Dog ears are an embarrassment to you, your classmates, your momma who raised you, and dogs and their ears.

40). Curb your enthusiasm. Do not saturate your paper with unnecessary exclamation marks. I am happy that you are excited and happy to be alive. So am I. It is good to be young and alive, I agree. Gaudeamus igitur. But find other ways to express your joie de vivre, ways that do not involve exclamation marks.

Song of the Middle Brow

Sing a song for the Middle Brow,

the Target-tossed.

See them

in their temples;

glitzy nothings buy momentary affection.

Hear them

singing not songs, not sounds,

but jingles,

the catchy tunes that never fail to catch.

See them

thronging at the thrones of screens and windows.

Marvel

at the lights that hide.

Advice for College Students

Here is my list of unsolicited advice for college students, based on my past few years of teaching.

1. Early to bed, early to rise. It sounds crazy when you're in college, but being asleep by 11 and up by 7 is really good for you.

2. Take advantage of office hours. Don't use them to talk about your personal problems or personal life, but to talk especially about course-related material with your professors. Ask them specific questions about material covered in class, about papers you're writing, about tests you're preparing for. Believe the answers you might get.

3. Use proper e-mail etiquette when communicating with your professors.

4. When you work, work. When you play, play.

5. Learn to shut off the distractions and just work, or just reflect, or just do something that doesn't involve distractions, particularly of the electronic kind.

6. Pay attention to the syllabus.

7. Stop thinking you turned out fine. You haven't turned out yet. You still need to simmer in the oven a bit before you really know how you "turned out."

8. Eschew presentism. The past is at least as interesting as the present. The medieval period is relevant. Antiquity matters. Old is not bad.

9. Read. Read, read, read. Learn to read things that are long, several hundred pages long.

10. Find a way to get off campus and be with people who are not 18-22, in college, etc.

11. Don't start putting your things away when the professor is still talking.

12. Come to class a little early if you can and review your notes, and prepare your mind for what is coming.

13. You are in college to learn. The best learning happens in the classroom, at the library, when you are studying, when you are reading, writing. Important learning also happens in clubs and activities, but that kind of learning is not as important. I know that you think it is, but it really isn't. I know that glitzy college brochures tell you that it is, but it really isn't.

14. Sesame Street was wrong. Learning and having fun are not the same thing. Learning can be fun, but often it is not. It can be, must be, strenuous to be meaningful. Learning is especially not entertainment. The two are nearly antithetical.

15. You are in college to work. You should put in two hours outside of class for every hour spent inside class. Sometimes more, especially if it's in something that's a weak spot for you. This means that a normal fifteen-credit course load will turn into a 45-hour week. This is not unreasonable. It still leaves much time for activities, clubs, part-time work, personal time, social time, etc.

16. Date. It isn't done much anymore, but that doesn't mean that's ok. You will never have as many opportunities to be around people with similar interests and of a similar age again. Get to know many people. Date.

17. Don't drink alcohol until you're 21, and don't get drunk. This probably sounds radical to some people. It is not. Therapists' offices are full of people who are dealing with the effects of alcohol in their lives. Alcohol kills your brain cells, which you are in college to build. What you do under the influence of alcohol, or what you fail to do, may haunt you for a long time. Alcohol can multiply regrets.

18. To write a good paper, you must start working on it well before it is due. You must read it and re-read it and make changes.

19. Dictionaries can be a treasure. Learn to use them correctly. You probably think you know how to use a dictionary, but you probably don't.

20. Have opinions. Don't be afraid to think something and then to express it. Forget what your classmates think. When you read something, you should form an opinion of it. Come to class ready to talk about things you've read and to say what you think about it. Approaching things with indifference can become a really bad habit.

21. You want nothing to do with pornography. You have no idea how much it can destroy those who meddle with it.

22. Vote. Read up on the candidates and issues and vote. You may think you're too busy, but that is ridiculous. Our fourteen-hour-day ancestors were busy, not you. Your future self-- ten, twenty, thirty years down the road-- will be busy, but not your present self. Indifference is a disease, apathy a canker.

23. Television is really dumb. If you have not realized this, then you have missed out on something important during your four college years.

24. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert exhibit bias on their shows. If you have not realized this, then you have missed out on something important during your four college years.

25. Racism and sexism are all around. They are not struggles that have been conquered in the past.

26. Stop referring to your college as the Harvard of the (fill in the blank). Don't try to make your college sound better than it is. It is what it is. You don't need a fancy college bumper sticker on your car to have value. Your worth is great no matter where you go to college.

27. Dress. This may sound radical, but your clothing says a lot about your attitude. Pajamas, sweat pants, jogging shorts and the like say "I don't really care about this class and I lack sufficient respect for my professors, my fellow students, and the overall learning process."

28. Texting and Facebook have their place, but it is a small one.

29. Professors giving bad grades to students "they don't like" is largely a myth. Bad grades usually accompany bad work, not bad blood.

30. Nourish your spiritual life. Go to church, synagogue, etc. Read from the holy books. Figure out what you believe, and live it.

31. All those people who told you around high school graduation, "Don't ever change!" were wrong. You had better change, or else you will spend the rest of your life with the limited capacity of an 18-year-old. And you can't face 50-year-old problems, or even 30-year-old or 25-year-old problems with the limited capacity of an 18-year-old. You are in college to learn things you did not know and to grow and become better, and that is a good thing. 18 is fine when you're 18, but not when you're not.

32. Don't ask your professors questions that can easily be answered by looking at the syllabus. Questions about when office hours take place are among the most offensive in this category.

33. Your professors don't spend from 9-5 in their offices. They may be at the library reading or researching, at home on their computer typing, grading, and creating lesson plans, at conferences or symposia, at lectures around the university. They do many things outside of the classroom that are important factors in making the inside-the-classroom experience better.

34. Go to stuff. You think you don't have time, but that isn't true. Go to lectures, concerts, plays, exhibits, art museums, and so forth. Take an active role in your extracurricular cultural life.

Getting Jimmered

I am happy for the hoopla surrounding this year's winner of every college basketball award in the land. What I like about the BYU senior is that while the temptation for him proudly to inflate his sense of self must be great, he remains a humble and likeable kid.

I am surprised by the "Jimmer" jokes circulating on the internet however. They have a Chuck Norris-like feel to them; e.g. "Death just had a near-Jimmer experience"; "HD watches basketball in Jimmer"; "I just saved 15% on my car insurance by switching to Jimmer"; and "When the Jimmer goes swimming, he doesn't get wet-- the water gets Jimmered."

I wonder how he'll do in the NBA. Especially because I really only know the college game and rarely watch the NBA. My amateur guess is that he'll fare much like J.J. Redick: he'll be a solid three-point shooter who can score coming off the bench and quickly put up some points when needed, but that he won't be a superstar.

Note: the Jimmer and J.J. Redick are both white, but that doesn't mean you can't compare white players to black ones, and vice versa. It was interesting to see how many white players the Jimmer got compared to last season, and how much difficulty some people had comparing him to black players.

Some people doubt the Jimmer. They say his defense is bad. They say he doesn't have many assists. He averaged 3-4 assists a game, and often had more. I think that's a good assist record.

The best assist I got from him in class yesterday. I have a student from Glens Falls, Jimmer's hometown. We had just read a story in French in which an Eskimo laments that the old ways are disappearing and are being replaced with strange, new ways. The book says to ask students if they can think of anyone who similarly struggles with straddling the line between "the old ways" and modernity. My student from Glens Falls said Jimmer Fredette is like that. When he was in New Orleans with Team USA basketball people, everyone went out for a night on the town, to go drinking. Not the Jimmer. He stayed in the hotel and read the Bible. He is a Mormon.

That gave me the opportunity (on an assist from the Jimmer!) to say I am a Mormon, too, and that I didn't drink either. I always look for opportunities to let my students know I'm Mormon, so I was happy for this long-distance, 'cross two-time-zones assist from the Jimmer.

That day we all got Jimmered, in the best way.